What They Hear isn't Always What you Say

Kenny was sitting on the couch with his arm propped on the arm of the couch and Jake was sitting next to me in my chair looking at Facebook.  Kenny's arm started twitching and he said "look at my arm, it's having a hissy fit."  Jake leaned over and asked me "Mom what's a hissy tit?" 

Driving lessons

On our way home from town this morning Rachael was dreaming about turning 16 and learning how to drive.  She said that we would have to move the seat back a little so she could fit on my lap.  I told her that I would notbe sitting in that seat when she learned how to drive. She asked where I would be sitting and I told her I would probably be hiding in the house and her dad would be teaching her how to drive.  She said that would probably be better since daddy's legs were skinnier she could sit on his lap easier.